Wednesday, September 17

Faded Memories

I've entered into a world that sees so many things in you.
The shyness I've had in me. The silence I've had in me. 
I'm not talkative yet being considerate through action.
Always nods to every task asked, yet trying to do everything perfectly.
Never been scold, just a mere correction.
Smiling and laughing no matter how busy we were because we enjoy working together.
Teases me whenever he can and always leads to awkward moment.
I love to stare blank and looking up to the sky, nature, and surroundings.
Listening to music and feel it every bits of everything.
He finds it amusing yet confused with my personality.
Slowly my shyness decreased with lots of amazing people surrounding me.
Support me and even try to talk to me when I always sticks into myself.
He always pulls me up and brought me up forward whenever I stayed away being noticed.
Never left me alone. Stayed by my side even tho we always ended up being awkward.
He made me laugh through being awkward yet my shyness haven't completely vanish.
It was winter, we hold hands for the first time because I was in a blank state again.
Our finger intertwine, our palm touches and warm us.
He looked worried but I can't recall anything that makes him worried.
He hugged me tightly and minutes he cool off.
He asked me to sing a song during Christmas Eve party.
I agreed. I practiced with one of his friend.
I was completely in a regretted state because my level of shyness increased.
Once I've step down from a small stage I was completely burn with embarrassment. 
Everyone applauded but it was overwhelming. 
His cold hands touches my burning face to cool me off.
Teases me while comforting.
We enjoyed our night with everyone.
The laughter, the song, the smell.
I can no longer remember.
Every part of my memories started to fade.
I started to stare blank even more frequently.
Forgetting a lot of task, forgetting almost everything.
He was worried and I as well.
My medication doesn't work anymore. 
He found out the week before Christmas.
I cried, cried my heart out because my heart ache so much. 
In the same time I could hear and felt his tension and fear.
He hugged me so tightly that I almost suffocate.
We never let go each other and stayed all night long. 
Comforting each other with awkward jokes.
It was decided, I have to go for intensive care for a long period.
I no longer recalling people surrounding me.
But they support me with all their might.
The warmth I felt from everyone and him.
I felt empty and my heart ache but 
I no longer remember everyone,

I no longer remember him.

The way he teaches me, 
The way he corrects my mistake,
The way he comfort me, 
The way he makes awkward jokes,
The way he makes me laugh,
The way he hold me,
The way he hug me,
The way he kisses me,
The way he loves me.
All of him, everything is just a Memories that I will never remember again.

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