Sunday, May 8

Moving forward!

Few months ago I was so negative & devastated with myself. I was in a very self conscious thinking. I felt that I was unable to achieve all things that I need to get it done. I'm not moving on because it was the lowest time of my life. I shut myself up so badly & it was the worst time of my life. At that time I was jobless & depressed as well. It took me some time to get over it. Since I'm taking my time slowly & gradually picking up myself in better way.

Along the journey I still felt horrible & terrified as well but eventually it fades off. I pray & received countless prayer from my friends & family. They are all my pillar to my strength. Going through this alone was very hard. As my heart fights with my brain. Nonetheless blessed to received guidance through Jesus Christ! 

Roller coaster ride was not fun but a journey to improve myself. My parents pushes me and helping me even though I refused. And I manged to completed my IELTS exam! As the exam ended yesterday I felt like I was reborn! Throughout the examination I was really calmed! Thanks to my family & friends who gave me their thoughts & prayer! 

As for now I'm going to go through with the path I'm going now! Its gonna be another long ride but with God's guidance it will worth it. I received a calling from Him where it determined my path that I'm going. All along I was confused with the decision I'm going now. But with through His confirmation it made me realized that its going to be fine no matter what I have chosen. 

I've tried to join Church activities as much & pray as much as possible or just having a small quite conversation with Jesus really helps me a lot. It calms me down & felt so in peace within me. I am so blessed to be born in this family. Throughout my financial & self hardship really felt that nothing beats this. Even when I was in a financial problem somehow everything just solved out. Everything that happened are so miracle. So blessed and grateful with all family & friends that I've known.

For whatever reason was that every time I went back from vacation or holiday everything seems different as to before. The Chinese says that once you travel out from the country you will wash away bad luck & return with new beginning & luck. I always felt grateful to be able to travel to other country with family & friends. It relaxed our mind & bond better together. I love travel!

Now that examination was over, I'm waiting for my result on 20th May. Once the result was out it will determined my path. If I passed their college band requirement I'm going to have one month to sort out my documentation & everything that needs to be done. Its gonna be a hectic month for me as I will be flying to Perth on the 29th June with my Aunt. Once everything was confirmed it will be so hectic! No time to rest until I settle down in Perth! So much to do.

Anyway pray that everything will be fine and awesome! 

Till then
Cheers & God Bless!

Wednesday, May 4

What is your calling from God??

Its been a full of event week for me. As I went back to class last week to resume my session for IELTS class. My exam is around the corner! Its kinda nerve wrecking for me. I've been feeling really tired lately. I think its because I've been going to bed almost around 11.30pm. Not good for health to begin with tho. Now that my holiday is over for now. I'm gonna move forward and go with the plan right now.

By the way we went to Kaamatan Festival Mass at Holy Family Church, Telipok! There's lots of people gathered as it was a big celebration. Everyone gather from different diocese church and participate this lively event! For us we just went there and enjoy ourselves the most. 

Getting few tanned line along way. It was scorching hot in the afternoon. We drank beer and have lots of a laugh as well. We had few talk with one of my church mate. He broke with his girlfriend. Oh well its life. Its been lively for the day as well. Catching up and talking was awesome.  

Anyway we went to church yesterday to witnessed ordination of Deacon Joshua which is now a Priest. This ordination mass was totally different from the usual mass. It was God's calling and miracle that makes it happened. I was really blessed to witness such wonderful ordination. The entire mass was so peaceful and calmed. I also read the article about how Father Joshua heard his calling from God. It felt so magical and mystery at the same time. 

I even had a little chat with God while I was witnessing. I was asking and thinking about it along the mass ordination. And so I do realized my calling. My calling was not to become sister. HAHA It was helping people that in need.  When I was admitted to hospital I was so calmed and relax even tho I'm feeling sick. Ever since all I was thinking is how to get to work in hospital. Along way during the ordination I saw two people who did sign language who is deaf for the entire ordination. I felt so amazed by it, felt so encouraging and moved. 

And so I've been thinking to work in hospital & decided to continue this feeling with partake as volunteer in any hospital when I go to Perth for further studies. I mean its a big thing for me, as I can see and experience first hand. Another choice is, if I am not able to pass for my IELTS I will go for physiotherapy course so that I am able to work in hospital. As for now I'm going for childcare course in Perth. It was a big decision and cost a lot of money. But I really want to get a closer look in foreign country. I might be able to experience something I've never tried before. 

As to saying my calling from God is working in hospital but it doesn't mean in future would be the same. For now I will go to this direction with God's guide. Guidance from Him will definitely brings a fruitful outcome. Did you guys hear your inner calling? Are you doing what you love? Find it, look for it, if not seek into it. 

Till then,
Cheers & God Bless.