Tuesday, December 19

091217 Little Bits of Sam's Farewell

For the time I was staying outside with them for 4 weeks seems long but it's short enough to become a memories. When I knew that my aunt was going for two weeks holiday I was keen to stay outside for longer period. I am planning to spend my time with them as much as possible. 



This was the day I called in my childcare center that I was sick and unable to work. I was really tired mentally and physically tired of working at night. My mind couldn't bear it. I had a relax day whole day a good rest and spend my time with them bunch. I definitely felt that I've changed in these period of time. I speak out more than I usually do. Worked up all those unnecessary stuff that makes me tired enough.  


Wasn't in my usual self throughout the entire stay with them. Nonetheless we had our amazing day, small lunch or anything would be enough for me. So blessed with these people around me 💓


Had our last brunch with Sam before his flight with him in the afternoon. Time seems to past by so fast, they were heading to other places to meet up with few people before he flies off, as so we took off and head to our own destination before we sent them to the airport. 





As so time comes and we head to airport. They soon fly off. I was kinda sad because it means some part of our life changes. It took me a few days to grasp the changes. As soon as one week was gone & he was back from the trip it made me realized it was not the same. Small changes but I'm not sure if our relationship changed or not, because I felt different again this time. I wasn't sure but a little changes between us as well. The little bits between us we commonly have increases a lot. I wonder he knew but he probably do. Let us not changes yet, because I will never be ready when I least or expected. 


Till then,
Cheers & God Bless. 

Monday, December 18

080917 Sunset Beach


Most of my stay in Geraldton photo was taken by him. While back in Malaysia my job was to help people take tons of photo, but while I was here he took a lot more photo of me. I felt like we swap places. When I was working with my photography company I always wish someone could help me take photo of me too, always wondering who would take photo of me? Now I'm glad there's a person who loves photography as much as I do. 




We always had a random decision to go take photos based on the weather actually. When the weather was real good we would go for a walk, he brought camera and I would randomly pose for the photo. I was the random girl strolling around the beach, while some random guy spotted me and decided to took tons of photo of me. 😏😏



He was kinda worried for me caused I have tons of time with him instead of working. He knows I need to earn money to pay for school fee. Told him that I was roster on the specific date and limited working hours. At least he understands.



After sunset we decided to went back home and start some cooking session. We were kinda hungry. He cooked the steak and I prepared the vegetables. Took out my last white wine bottle I bought from the Quaff Food & Wine Expo 2017 for a drink. We enjoyed a simple but delicious meal for two. We then later transfer photo and let the alcohol cool down before he send me home. A real simple day to end our night. 


Till then,
Cheers & God Bless

Monday, December 11

050917 Casual Relax Day

It was a relax day that day. He always had a small amount of time for me. It doesn't matter how short it is. I was working that night but still have some time before I'm going for work. We spend our time relaxing and enjoying the cold breeze and amazing sun. This was where we had a small conversation. It's where insecurities hits me. I was in jealous mode. I told him I wanted to go with him, but sadly he refused and I know the reason was because it's for his sister wedding. He wouldn't have the time to bring me around for sight seeing.




To be honest these part made me disappointed but also glad. I was having emotional roller coaster and blogged Ego that I put into relationship , then blogged Friendship is more important few weeks later. Realizing that he had a person that loves him more than I do, ready to sacrifice her career just to be next to him. I was in awe and amazed by her effort. 



To think that a girl would do such length to be with him was amazing. That was the time I took my time to let go of everything. I don't want to ruin my relationship I have with him. I don't want to change what we have now. I decided not to tell him how I felt, because at the same time he has the conflict between her. He ignored her but she was firm to get his attention once again. 



Because she was insecure with long distance especially photo of me was posted regularly on his social media. It made her really insecure and that's why she pursue him even regularly that made him uncomfortable. At the same time, I wrote a post on wechat and his friend showed it to him. Luckily my friend said it wasn't for him otherwise it will be in trouble. I could be in uncomfortable state with him. 




It made me opened my eyes and thought. I decided to give up in order for us to be comfortable again. I don't want to ruin our relationship just because of confession and all these bullshit emotional roller coaster. It took me a hard time but eventually my feelings calm down and able to react to what I can do like usual. 



All these time I am able to do what I am able to do. I just need some time to calm myself down and think properly. He made me so comfortable and safe by his side even when we just sit beside staring at the beach. These feeling was indescribable. I am so lucky and blessed to met you and everyone else who loves me for who I am. These period of stay changed me a lot, opened me up and explore more different place together. Counting to many more years with bunch of them 💓


Till then,
Cheers & God Bless

Sunday, December 10

091217

It's been an emotional roller coaster right now. Ever since my Aunt went to Busselton, at the 1st week of November, I haven't been home. Tonight I decided to go back home. Because Sam is finally back HK after his visa ended. I spend the next 4 weeks enjoying our time together with bunch of friends. I'm trying to spend and make as much memories as possible because time is short and precious. It was a right choice & decision to stay by their side. I was being taken care of, enjoy as much fun with them. 

All these amazing days went by so quickly in the glimpse of eyes. I am pretty sad to be honest. It felt the same when Joanna went back to HK & Giselle went for further studies. I don't even know if I will be able to stay longer or not with the purpose of PR. I still have a long way to go. While he worked hard and finally preparing for PR, I am ready to achieve my goal & dream too even though these will take me 3-4 years time. As long as I got it, I will be happy even it takes time. Nothing comes with short cut. I need to work on by myself this time. 


Again being Thankful & Blessed every single day. 💓
Till then,
Cheers & God Bless.