Tuesday, October 6

Physically & Mentally Exhausted

Usually when I always come back to blog saying I'm kind off hectic and busy and stuff but actually I was lazy all the time. But since I've started going to gym lately I made some progress as well. Slow but progressing. Thanks to my annoying friends who pushes me for a better healthier lifestyle.

Oh I'm gonna update little bits of my love life. Its over. HAHAHA I mean its not worth waiting when he's not going to look at my way you know. I'm tired and its wasting my time so much. I couldn't even focus on people around me when I only have eyes on him. But I'm glad I finally get over it. I met him as always during church party or event but it doesn't stir me up. I'm just glad everything is over.

Somehow I kinda felt like I've been constantly revisiting emergency hospital this year a lot. Grandma back pain, grandpa anemia & blood pressure. It turned out worst this time. My dad's turn. It wasn't a good thing. When my dad went numb and stiff on his right leg, things strike on me too hard. Its getting a little bit emotional for me. My dad always had back pain but its taking its toll now. The cartilage between the last back bone was too narrow and it pinches the vein that connect the right leg. 

Daddy couldn't even stand properly due to the numbness of the level. Medicine, physiotherapy and the last resort is operation. I think we are going through a lot now. For mom she's the toughest person that I've ever seen. For me and my brother we could only assist mom in helping dad to get recover. It was one whole of a roller coaster ride. I've been crying a lot without their knowledge cause I don't want to let them worried especially Dad. 

It was really difficult to dealt with health issue especially when they get older everyday. I was really frustrated because of all things it happened right now at these time of the moment. I'm not sure if its really a good or bad thing. All my plans were all scattered, jumbling ups and down without definite. I don't think I can go away when things turn out bad. I wonder if I'm able to leave this place without getting worried about my parents. Tough decision. 

I really just hope & pray my Dad gets better so I don't have to get worried. It breaks my heart so much. 

Till then,

God Bless.

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